“T”, arrived on the wing (Nexus Unit at HMP Eastwood Park) with a highly sensitive and nervous disposition. On every session for the first few weeks, we observed that the few words T uttered, nervously and repetitively were ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’. Then she would apologise and excuse herself for constantly saying these words. T’s vulnerabilities were so pronounced that she really struggled to communicate.

The first time T put her hands on the drum she was shaking. She cautiously and tentatively lightly pressed the drum skin with her fingertips rather than using the whole hand. It in fact took many weeks for T to find this full connection with the drum.

Her extreme shyness was demonstrated in the ceremony. Participants are asked to write down what it is that they give thanks for in their life, what they are proud of, what they would like to bring in to their lives and what elements of self they would like to ‘let go’ of. As each Woman has her moment to let go, she asks the group for musical support as she watches her words on the paper (and the elements of self) dissolve into the water. T was completely unable to ask for any support from the group at all and she would constantly ask for us facilitators to make her decisions for her. She found it very hard to ask for what she wanted.

During the course of the weeks that followed her initial sessions, she started to say things like ‘I look forward to my Fridays’ and then she went on to say ‘This is the best day of the week for me.’ She began to always come downstairs early to have a chat before the session started and told us on numerous occasions about the comfort that she was getting from participating and how she would seek out a singing group or choir ‘on the out.’

She was deeply committed to her Vital Beats sessions. Over time she showed more and more trust of us due to the safe space we provide and went on over the months to become a key member of the group. As T’s confidence grew she then began to experience what it felt like to openly ask for what she wants. This resulted in her asking for support in numerous ways, conducting the rest of the group and inspiring other women to reach out for what they needed in sound. T’s progression was immense. We saw the ‘thank you’s and sorrys’ diminish somewhat, her skin become clearer, she became less shaky and her empowered self started to shine through as she felt more rooted in her comfortability.

There was a moment of what we viewed as Unforgettable Transformation in T. In one particular session she took the lead and decided to sing solo an Adele song that she loves. The only way that she could do this was to stand around the corner so that she couldn’t be visibly seen by others. The second time however, T did it in front of the whole group, sang harmonies and brought other Women in, conducting the parts. It was an honour to witness such empowerment in T.

The attendance for Vital Beats sessions are voluntary.
“T” completed 35 out of a possible 36 sessions because on one occasion she had a visit.